19 Hard Truths You Have to Accept to Be Successful

19 Hard Truths You Have to Accept to Be Successful19 Hard Truths You Have to Accept to Be SuccessfulThis guide works when bad things happen. Someone trolls you online? Read this. Someone hates your writing, your product, or your business? Read this. Get fired from a job or by a client? Read this. Zombie apocalypse? Whats probably more important are zombie-smashing devices and non-perishable provisions (but afterwards...read this).1. Everyone Is Always OffendedWere all set in our ways. As much as we tout how open-minded we all are, we all have little nitpicks about everyone else. This shouldnt stop you from doing what youre doing, but it also shouldnt come as a surprise when someone tries to tell you how offended they are by what you just did.2. Someone Being Offended Means They Took NoticeThey noticed you, paid attention, and consumed what you made. Sure, they expressed their offended-ness at you, but now youre wasting even more of their time because theyre telling you how much or wh y they hated it. Life will continue, the planet will keep spinning, and no one but you will be the wiser that someone was offended.3. Not Being Noticed Is UniversalIf no one hates you, no one is paying attention. Every single person that youre currently paying attention to, at some point in their lives, was in your exact position. They kept at it and worked enough so that others started listening. If no one is watching yet, you can experience true freedom- dance in your underwear, write entirely for yourself, be weird.4. You Will Be JudgedFear can make us afraid of what others will think. Its not a question of if people will judge you, because they definitely will judge you. People are judgy, and that judgment is scary. While we all care what others have to say, it becomes dangerous when we value their opinions more than our own. The list goes, in order of importance 1. Our opinion of ourselves, 2. (which is a distant second) Everyone elses opinion of us.5. Theres a Difference Betwe en Respect and JudgmentBeing judged and being respected are not the saatkorn thing. People can think youre an awful person and still hold you in high regard. Conversely, if someone judges you as a nice person or a decent philanthropisch being, it doesnt mean they respect you. People walk all over nice and decent human beings all the time. On the other hand, people dont tend to walk all over people they respect.6. Self-Respect Leads to Universal RespectIf youre respecting yourself- publicly and proudly- chances are, others will follow. And even if they dont follow, hey, youve got yourself a nice big bowl of self-respect, and theres nothing wrong with that.7. Entitlement and Self-Respect Are DifferentSelf-respect means you know what youre willing to do and what youre not willing to do. Its honor and dignity that makes you you. Entitlement means you think you deserve something. Basically, you deserve your own self-respect and to be treated decently by others. Anything past that- youve got to work for it. And even then, even if it doesnt work out the way you wanted, thats just the way the cards fall sometimes.8. You Dont Need Those Who Dont Respect YouThe good thing about people not respecting you is that unless theyre actually causing you some sort of harm, you can ignore them completely. Theyll never support your work or make you better as a human being, so you drop them as quickly and silently as possible. Theyre dead weight.9. The People Who Respect and Value You Are RoyaltyThese are the most important people to you on the planet. Theyre the ones who not only pay attention, but are interested. Treat these people like royalty, because to you, they should be. Make things for them, be generous toward them, and basically make sure they know how much you value them.10. Confidence Is for EveryoneYou dont need to be loud to be confident. Sometimes the most confident person in the room is the quietest. Confident people know what they know and dont need to share it to build confidence. Confidence comes from within. They share when the time is right or when theyre asked. They also share it in a way that works for them.11. Giving a DamnGiving a damn is your lifes currency. If you give a damn about everything and everyone, youll quickly run out of damns, or even worse, go into damn debt. Your time will be spread too thin, youll stress about tiny things and insignificant people, and external factors will rule your life and run it into the ground.12. Care About What MattersIts OK to give a damn when you truly care about something. If you care about nothing, youll quickly become too cynical and jaded. Have a handful of people and causes you actually care about.13. Not Giving a Damn Is the Opposite of ApathyApathy is the indifference you feel when something just doesnt matter. Not giving a damn means youve stopped yourself from making something matter that shouldnt matter. Not giving a damn is strength in the form of willpower, whereas apathy is just no t feeling anything. This is a key point to understand and reflect on.14. Be Foolish and Stupid as Often as PossibleHonestly, no one truly knows what they are doing. Experts, thought leaders, those who seem like they have it all- there are too many variables to account for what specifically worked in creating their success and what didnt. The only difference between them and someone who hasnt seen success is that they tried a whole bunch of ideas and didnt stop trying until something worked. Theyre more concerned with What could happen if I... than What will others think if I...15. Everyone Is Weird, Awkward, and DifferentYou are too, so use it to your advantage. The only way to stand out, or stand apart, is to be your real, weird self. Otherwise you blend in. Embrace what makes you different, even though its difficult and stressful to do. Everyone you admire or look up to does this. Think about it. They all take the reins of what makes them different and use it to their advantage. N o one that youve heard of got there by being like everyone else.16. Dont Let Anyone Set Your BoundariesIf someone tells you You shouldnt do that, or That cant be done, assume theyre talking out their own experience until youve proven otherwise for yourself. People are well-meaning, but their advice is clouded by their own ideas, their life experiences, and their choices. Never let someone else draw your line in the sand. That means its their line, not yours, and youve just been following their lead.17. Know Who You Are (and Who You Are Not)In having self-respect and setting boundaries, it helps to know a little about yourself, so you can make these decisions. Be clear about who you are and who you arent. First with yourself, then with others. Honesty is a lot easier than you playing a role because you think its a role you need to play.18. Honesty Doesnt Give You License to Be a JerkBeing honest isnt a license for you to run your mouth with impunity, and then end things with, Hey, I was just being honest... No, you were being a jerk. Dont be a jerk. Not even jerks like other jerks. The best way to know if youre being honest or just being a jerk is to think first, then speak.19. Expectations Are Inversely Related to a Sense of AccomplishmentThe Bhagavad Gita states that were only entitled to the work, not the fruits of that work. Dont do anything because you expect something to come from it- do it because you really want to do it in the first place. Its like writing a book because you really want a bestseller. Its impossible to guarantee that. Write a book because you want to write the book. That way, regardless of what happens next, youve already accomplished what you set out to do.None of the above points can happen without you paying attention. Paying attention to others, paying attention to what you care about, and- most importantly- paying attention to yourself. Youre the one in dienstgrad of your life, so take charge of it already.Thats it. Nineteen diffic ult rallying points for mastering your own life. Now stop reading listicles on the internet and get back to being awesome.More From Inc.5 Reasons You Should Hire Someone Who Has Been Fired7 Habits of Remarkably Successful Startup Entrepreneurs5 Toxic Beliefs That Will Ruin Your Chances for SuccessPhoto of woman doing yoga courtesy of Shutterstock.